are we all tone deaf? hear me out…

Something that often gets me into trouble is not what I’m saying, but HOW. It’s curious that it seems all too human a trait to be deaf to our own tone, even as aware as one may seem. Even those with perfect pitch are not immune. When we use our voice we don’t always know how it’s received, by others, or ourselves for that matter.

It’s probably for this reason we hear that it’s good to practice speaking in front of a mirror. That way we can see our facial expressions and possibly understand more of this HOW we are relaying whatever it is we want to say. If you have spent time with me, you know that I feel like this practice of mirroring can be applied to absolutely everything, you don’t even need a physical mirror. What I’ve observed through self awareness and empathic listening is that what we say and feel and do and experience are all products of our environment, in and around ourselves. After years of practicing this belief, I’ve found that I get particularly upset or triggered about something when it’s true, or more-so it is a mirrored behavior of something that I may do or how I may react. It hits me like a jolt of consciousness and ignites a fire in me from the friction in the moment. The Leo in me roars at the truth, all while ultimately knowing that it means changes are necessary in how I move and communicate.

Amidst the flames of all my fire, I learn to dance with them, tame them, even swallow them. Just as I can have the human tendency to impulsively and poorly react in the moments I live, so quick that I ignore my better judgement and discernment; I can just as easily jump to the other extreme of over judging myself in a moment and not sharing or speaking up, out of fear of being judged. I’ve learned in my experiences that it’s human to teeter from one extreme to another because, when done consciously, it allows us to pursue a sense of balance.

Have you ever said something and then immediately felt like you could have said it better? Or do you ever feel like you judge yourself too harshly about what you want to share? So much so that you silence yourself before you can even get it out into the world?

What If I Told You There Was No Conspiracy?

listen to this blog:

Hey you, on your phone

I’ve got a hot take

Something to consider while you anxiously wait

For the next brick to fall or the big earthquake

You know, the long list of fears that you eat on your plate

When no one is looking, instead of home cooking

We’re scrolling and trolling and losing our footing

So lets you and me, take a breath and explore,

Let the masks that we wear all fall to the floor.

Let’s not get triggered. I mean the everyday masks

We wear when we fear laughs at the questions we ask

It’s for protection, I know, it can be rather scary

To bare yourself to the world, now that takes bravery. 

Be yourself, so they say, but curiosity kills the cat,

It’s cliché this old way to stop you from questioning quacks

And when I say quack I want to be clear 

That I’m talking about people who get too severe

When we start to speak up or step out of the box 

The ones that storm off and leave us in shock

Alone with the holes that they burned with their absence 

So we build up these walls, we add to the madness.

And instead of addressing

The root of the stressing 

And counting our blessings 

We’re second-guessing ourselves…

Is it worth it ? 

I can only speak for me,

But when I second guess the voice who agrees

With the black sheep mentality

I fall on my face.

And though I do it with grace

Sometimes I don’t learn,

So I live it again and again and again 

Until I finally say when

By listening to that voice who never dares shout

The one that has power to alchemize my doubts. 

Look around and tell me what you see

Division, precision, conspiracy

Everyone’s taking sides and escaping their lives

Forgetting themselves to fight “the good fight”

And for what I may ask?

Marching just keeps you in line. 

If you want to see change, there are fires to ignite.

No not ones that wreck havoc or stir up the pot

The fire you’ve got in your heart and forgot.

This fire is love in its purest form. 

It’s tolerant, kind, unconditional.

And it can only been found when you put in the work 

On yourself, not your job or net worth.

You know you’re different, it’s why you try to fit in;

I’ve been there before, and there’s no way to win. 

Each soul on this earth is here for a purpose 

The answers we seek aren’t found on the surface

They’re not in our newsfeeds, on our TVs or phones 

They’re found deep inside when we’re finally alone

Feeling into our solitude, facing our fears

Reliving our traumas, and freeing our tears.

And then there’s a period when we are aware

Still scared of the unknown, of being so bare but

We’re human, you know?

We’re always evolving. 

Without personal changes, though we are not solving

Any problems that we think are killing this planet.

So no more living on a loop. No more taking life for granted. 

What if I told you there was no conspiracy? 

No bad guys... just us being our worst enemies. 

All the distractions and reasons we make up in our heads

Follow us on our phones, even sleep in our beds.

We can’t catch a break, can’t even eat a steak

Without that one vegan friend sharing memes of our fate.

Everyone has a cause, and a story that’s worthy

Yet instead of acting from love, we love good controversy

And it keeps us divided, at odds, in a daze 

Unable to keep our hearts’ fires ablaze

The human condition dictates we make choices 

And it’s hard to stay true in a world full of voices

Who are oh so compelling, influential and cool

But does following them make you feel more you?

What do you do?

Where are you from?

Do you stay up all night?

Do you rise with the sun?

Do you judge yourself for your answers above?

I don’t. So tell me, why so blue? 

If you don’t accept yourself how will anyone accept you?

See, it’s no crime to be selfish, so long as no harm you do, 

And when your cup is full you can fill others’ too

So as the world tears in half, know this:

You don’t have to pick a side,

If it’s peace that you seek,

You’re your greatest ally.