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are we all tone deaf? hear me out…

Something that often gets me into trouble is not what I’m saying, but HOW. It’s curious that it seems all too human a trait to be deaf to our own tone, even as aware as one may seem. Even those with perfect pitch are not immune. When we use our voice we don’t always know how it’s received, by others, or ourselves for that matter.

It’s probably for this reason we hear that it’s good to practice speaking in front of a mirror. That way we can see our facial expressions and possibly understand more of this HOW we are relaying whatever it is we want to say. If you have spent time with me, you know that I feel like this practice of mirroring can be applied to absolutely everything, you don’t even need a physical mirror. What I’ve observed through self awareness and empathic listening is that what we say and feel and do and experience are all products of our environment, in and around ourselves. After years of practicing this belief, I’ve found that I get particularly upset or triggered about something when it’s true, or more-so it is a mirrored behavior of something that I may do or how I may react. It hits me like a jolt of consciousness and ignites a fire in me from the friction in the moment. The Leo in me roars at the truth, all while ultimately knowing that it means changes are necessary in how I move and communicate.

Amidst the flames of all my fire, I learn to dance with them, tame them, even swallow them. Just as I can have the human tendency to impulsively and poorly react in the moments I live, so quick that I ignore my better judgement and discernment; I can just as easily jump to the other extreme of over judging myself in a moment and not sharing or speaking up, out of fear of being judged. I’ve learned in my experiences that it’s human to teeter from one extreme to another because, when done consciously, it allows us to pursue a sense of balance.

Have you ever said something and then immediately felt like you could have said it better? Or do you ever feel like you judge yourself too harshly about what you want to share? So much so that you silence yourself before you can even get it out into the world?

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