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Chloe Niccole
Dec 19, 2017
In how do you give love?
I think that one of the things that people are taught from a young age, especially in the context of m/f relationships, is that love hurts or love is a challenge. Romance films tell us that we are supposed to secretly hate our partners, that women's friends will loathe their husbands and men will resent their wives for preferring drinking wine and cuddling to drinking beers and going to a sports game. Though sometimes amusing, tropes like that are harmful and insidious, especially in a society that simultaneously pushes a ball and chain narrative about marriage while also making people feel like failures for not wanting to get married in the first place. Love does not have to be a battle. Love does not have to exist in a cycle of compromises and ultimatums or secret resentment and unspoken disagreements. There is no "right way" to love, but there are ways to unlearn the toxic ideas of love that permeate our culture and make young people convince themselves that unhealthy relationships are normal. Talk to your partner. Tell them when you're upset, whether or not it's because of something they did. Be vulnerable. Be honest. Be kind, and don't share your heart with someone out of obligation. Be supportive, but know that you deserve support as well. Do not pressure yourself into something serious if it isn't what you're looking for, and don't agree to something casual if you're craving something long term. Protect yourself, but look for someone who wants to protect you as well. Be friends with your partner. Don't take yourself too seriously, and don't go along with it when friends or colleagues start ragging on their own partners. Love with sincerity, and when the love is no longer sincere you have to let yourself and your partner be free to find a sincere love again. It is possible to love wholly and completely without feeling like you are giving parts of yourself away. Hold onto yourself and let your partner enhance your life as you enhance theirs. Love is one of the most powerful and incredible things in the world, enjoy it when you have it. It doesn't have to hurt ♡♡♡
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Chloe Niccole
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